Haha thank you for this quote Vineeto, this is indeed exactly what happened!
Yes that is the goal, I think I have got to the bottom of this now. This “not being able to place myself” it’s that fear of insanity, of “loosing it”, but actually ‘I’ am “loosing it” in that sense 
It’s just that with pure intent it is safe to “loose it”.
But just to put more context to this, this is why those 2 situations shook me like so, because one was a training partner getting injured in training and another was a complaint from a customer. And it was like “oh shit” maybe ‘I’ am going to be dangerous. And it was the same kind of theme around Christmas last year, this sense of “maybe I have got it all wrong” and that if ‘I’ don’t resume control ‘I’ will be dangerous.
Actually I’m not sure if it was that ‘I’ would be dangerous or in danger. It seems like both, in that operating outside of sanity seems like it could get me in trouble as well as be dangerous for others. If anything this shows just how successful the social/moral conditioning is, and perhaps for good reason.