Hi Vineeto,
Thank you for those replies, I did read them but there has been a lot going on recently. There was in particular 2 events which happened over the past few days that “shook the boat” quite significantly so I have been somewhat all over the place.
It seems it is quite a precarious place to be in when the controls are let go of, I remember around Christmas time last year it also seemed like ‘I’ was on the verge of disappearing and then an event involving a fellow actualist also shook ‘me’ significantly.
It seems like there is a risk of going out of control, like ‘I’ am very vulnerable.
Also with regards to intimacy experiences I find something similar, that when a lot is “going on” and I don’t quite know where to place myself, it is quite difficult to allow such interaction, it is like I am operating with a fragmented mind 