Also just wanted to add that the funniest thing about this all is, when being naive, that it “doesn’t really matter” what transpired. Like there’s no moral weight or blame or “something done wrong” on any side of anyone. It was well-intentioned people doing their best with given information at the time, to navigate and attempt to label experiential ways of being, which can certainly be tricky. And there is no lasting harm or anything that has been done… ultimately it’s up to me anyway to self-immolate, I had already grown suss for a few months and recognized something more was needed, visiting Geoffrey helped me see what I think the main blocker was (trying to put myself into actuality), and now that I have been able to properly contemplate and reflect on just what my total extinction means and entails, I am having a blast and experiencing myself as having gotten to further ‘reaches’ than I ever have before. So all is, in the final analysis, going just fine really 
Cheers,
Claudiu