Lots of posts about naivete right now haha, let’s turn the bug into a pandemic! 
Just a quick one as I am about to go in to do some training. I noticed this specifically before I am about to go and interact with others (like right now for example). There is this fear of remaining naive, it feels tender but to the point of being vulnerable.
It reminds me of what Richard wrote that naivete is the intimate aspect of oneself which one has locked away due to fear of ridicule - this hits the nail on the head.
It’s like I am not supposed to be this intimate around others, there is certainly a fear there. I thought I had resolved this in the past but clearly there is more there.
I remember that fear is ‘my’ hiding place, and when I consider what specifically it is that ‘I’ am hiding nothing comes to mind. It seems it is more that ‘I’ am afraid to be seen, not anything specifically about ‘me’, rather ‘I’ am afraid to be seen full stop.
This seems to be part of the reason why I would always return to some kind of a ‘normal’ after all those extraordinary experiences. They would be precious but almost too precious to consider bringing them out into the open in my day to day living. So I would return to ‘normal’ which includes some kind of a ‘shield’, this is ‘me’ as the controller.
I notice for example it is even harder to remain naive in the company of other men, due to the conditioning which precludes men from having intimacy with each other. It is quite weird allowing such sweetness with other men, that it is somehow wrong to be this close.
But now I am reminded of a certain game which I stopped playing - how close can we get. No reason not to play this game with other men and confirm experientially whether it is safe or not.