Hi Vineeto,
Thank you for your reply and I am always amazed at your responses, it is so clear that where you are writing from is a completely different place to where ‘I’ write from 
.
What I am beginning to see though is just how far reaching ‘my’ influence is, that all aspects of ‘me’ are designed to perpetuate ‘me’, and only apperceptive seeing allows a peek outside of this dome of ‘my’ influence.
So it is like ‘I’ the identity come up with the next thing that will apparently get ‘me’ closer to ‘my’ goal and that very thing only perpetuates ‘me’, essentially without the apperceptive seeing ‘I’ am just chasing ‘my’ own tail. And this feature is so hard to see for what it is, like I wrote I could be writing about not being able to “stand still” and yet the whole post is only a demonstration of precisely ‘my’ inability to “stand still”, and it is as if ‘I’ am blind to this, despite ‘my’ sincere efforts.
But something does click every time so it is not time wasted, I am just quite amazed at how far ‘my’ influence reaches. I remember there was a similar conversation that I had with Sonya over and over for a few months and eventually the whole thing gave in, it was quite incredible when it happened.
So now that I see just how far ‘my’ influence reaches ‘I’ am kind of taken aback by what ‘I’ am aiming for, it’s like in the past ‘I’ under-estimated just how much would have to disappear, because ‘I’ did not see just how far ‘I’ reach.
Haha it’s not called an adventure of a life-time for no reason!