So this was such a great way to put it but whilst allowing this today I remembered that I already understood this a while back, when I wrote this :
In fact this has become a bit of an inside joke between me and @Sonyaxx now. Whenever things appear to be complicated/stressful and apparently requiring ‘my’ planning, scheming etc
I always say “I’m just gonna let the universe do it” and it has worked perfectly so far, 10/10! ps it was always going to happen that way anyways
What didn’t click back then is that not only does this apply to ‘my’ daily life but it also applies to ‘my’ self-immolation. Funny right? That I was allowing the universe to live me with regards to daily things and yet when it concerned self-immolation ‘I’ was digging ‘my’ claws in so strong.
But Richard did write that the means to the end and the end are the same - it is enjoyment and appreciation, so why would this drastic departure from the method be warranted or needed?
Peter wrote that if one cannot even contemplate a virtual freedom from sorrow and malice then any interest in an actual freedom would remain a purely cerebral exercise. Well in the same way if ‘I’ am not even willing to allow the actualism process to unfold without ‘my’ involvement then how on earth can ‘I’ agree to disappear for good?
It was all back to front! How could ‘I’ the controller be responsible for a process that is ‘my’ undoing? How could more control lead ‘me’ in the direction of ‘my’ willing departure?
Of course just as the method is an affective enjoyment and appreciation which segues into an actual enjoyment and appreciation, the same with regards to control - stepping out from control is the step before ‘my’ self-immolation, it is ‘my’ willing retirement which is as if a prelude to ‘my’ death. Again it is all pointing in the same direction.
So all those things which you were saying to me over the last 10 months Vineeto are making sense 
. The process is already underway, ‘I’ don’t ‘do’ anything more, ‘I’ only remain out from control, when things come up, these are ‘my’ objections, ‘my’ attempts to regain control. When this happens ‘I’ don’t go in the direction of more control, of dictating what and how should happen, instead those objections are removed so that ‘I’ can remain out from control.
In September 2024 you wrote :
I didn’t see this at all! Instead ‘I’ went through this big circle of all the things that wouldn’t work, perhaps this had to happen haha. That is one way to get things right and that is to try every single wrong way first