Thank you Vineeto, I deeply appreciate your service 
All this that I have been doing (with your invaluable assistance) the past year reminds me of what Richard wrote :
To have the requisite determination to apply oneself, with the diligence and perseverance born out of pure intent, to the patient dismantling of one’s accrued social identity indicates a strength of purpose unequalled in the annals of history. It is no little thing that one does . and it has enormous consequences, not only for one’s own well-being, but for humankind as a whole.
I have come a long way though because now I know that what ‘I’ deeply desire is to be innocence personified, and furthermore I see that the ‘wisdom’ that ‘I’ have lived on all ‘my’ life is a damnation to never-ending suffering.
This “too good to be true / I am not good enough” seems to have gone now. I no longer feel like a heretic when I allow that to be innocence personified is my destiny. It no longer feels taboo to proceed towards perfection and purity.