Thanks for the suggestion re: harmlessness.
Regarding the day-dream habit, I soon discovered what underlies it: the ‘being-to-being’ deeper passions which also underly the various affections atop.
It feels like a silent euphoria of some sort (sensations are simmering & mildly undulating in the belly; which sensations become full blown when you ‘fall in love’), basically, to be ‘connected’ to her but at a profound level (belly; rather than heart or head). The affections are simply feelings that form atop it. And the day-dreams weave cognitive narratives around it all, aimed at keeping it ‘permanent’. All of this make up the “sticky” part in total.
So, now that I have become aware of the alternative — a sensuous immanence — what needs to be done is much clear. Regarding harmlessness, I think this is not only the best for me, but would also be the best for her — as in, for me to artlessly demonstrate, by way of ongoing experience of mutual interactions, that there is something superior to this ‘connection’ (whether she actually wants it or not is her business).