I was following @henryyyyyyyyyy 's lead today and decided to lay down and really feel into the aggression I have towards myself. (Realising that I am this aggression isn’t my experience yet).
I was pondering “depth psychology” and a book by Peter Michaelson called “Why we suffer”, also a Facebook post which quoted Thomas Sowell saying how most truths are very simple, it’s complex because we don’t want to face truth.
Anyhoo, in depth psychology, the pre-conscious self , in it’s god-like solipsism, believes that any feelings it experiences are exactly what it wants to experience. Actualism would say it is those very feelings. Whether it’s “rejection” or any number of other distressing states.
It dawned on me that this is malicious.
The very action of self believing and being (whichever is the case) , such horrible things as “rejection” in what is otherwise a blameless baby, is the height of malice.
So, while I had to take a long route to get there, it is very clear to me now that it is not simply distress or even just aggression , but malice present in the newly formed addition to ‘humanity’.