Hmmm, maybe we need an Actualist Do Nothing Scale ranging from binge watching, eating and orgying simultaneously - right down to serenely listening to the sound of your own breath whilst being buried alive for 6 hours straight.
But seriously folks …
@Sonyaxx there’s absolutely nothing wrong with watching TV. But what would happen if you deliberately decided not to do it or anything else that has the potential to be somewhat compulsive/distracting e.g. phone checking, social media, reading, maybe even some chores? You might find it hard, boring, even emotionally exhausting because you are not used to to enjoying and appreciating this moment, enjoying your own company without distractions so to speak. You’re suddenly confronted with thoughts and feelings that may be uncomfortable. Entertainment does have a way of hedonically stoking the fire in a way that simply hanging out outside (or inside for that matter) doesn’t. Try it out and let us know how you go!
Doing nothing has always been really easy for me. I’ve spent most of my summer holidays sat on the bed watching Netflix all day and absolutely loving it!
I’m not sure that watching netflix all day, keeping yourself entertained , counts as “doing nothing”.
Right, but I think that @Sonyaxx comment came from the fact that claudio said that
So, until @Srinath shared his reflection and the article about how wanting and liking may not go hand in hand, and until @rick questioned what qualifies as “doing nothing”, @Sonyaxx qualified as someone who had been successful with “doing nothing” (watching Netflix, equivalent to Youtube) but, unlike @claudiu, feeling good doing it.
Whether it was @claudiu’s intention or not, he brought up two interconnected issues here:
Having free time and choosing to do an activity, but not feeling good when the motivation to do it is born from an addiction-alike to do something (not that specific activity). But it was implied, of course, that any activity could be done feeling good, enjoying and appreciating that activity; but as long as it was not born out from avoidance, anxiety, etc.
Having free time and choosing not to do any activity, and feeling good, enjoying and appreciating it. What happens is that sitting in a room or watching birds for some ARE activities!
So it seems to me that the essential issue becomes how to appreciate and enjoy WHATEVER it is that we are doing; and this enjoyment and appreciation will be intimately linked to the want and the drive that has led us to do it.
Happens that activities that minimize distractions EXPOSE our wanting, our drive and our liking more easily to observation.
What I meant here is that I was failing to do nothing. The way I was failing to do nothing is by feeling like I have to do something - which in this case was binge-watching YouTube. So this watching YouTube does not qualify as “doing nothing” in my book - it was an escape from doing nothing.
For me, having free time to do nothing is the most beautiful thing that can happen to me. As my work routine is very hectic, normally my free time is to tidy up the house or get some rest. But I also find that when I have time to do nothing, it is easy to get hooked on the cell phone, or turn on the computer, the TV, or grab a book. I recognize that this occurs due to an affective matter: my being does not want to stop being what it feels to be through these activities (and anxiety, which is an affective disorder, gives rise to more distractions, to evade reality, which creates a vicious circle).
When I deliberately decide to do nothing but contemplate, and that is to gently experiment with the senses, that is when I most find the route to the PCE, which normally remains in an EE.
Decided to try it out, turned off the tv and just hanging out on my own. My mind almost immediately started going through a checklist in my head of what I needed to do to prepare for the new academic year at uni and I noticed I wasn’t being fully present or enjoying and appreciating. When noticing this it brought me more into focusing on enjoyment, looking at the pictures in the room and the little nic naks lying around with little distraction in my head and I started to feel good. It was hard not to have my mind constantly thinking and the urge to be entertained watching my show was strong. I also ended up falling asleep
This exercise (which I have started doing as well) goes to the root of the problem of the human condition.
How can it be, because of this entity called self/being, a human body can not sit in place and space doing nothing without suffering (even if fed/hydrated/sheltered)?
The crazy thing is that all those impulses of feeling we are experiencing when sitting doing nothing - the restlessness, anxiety, boredom (and everything that comes under “the resentment for being here”) - those are what are powering and controlling our behaviour the rest of the time when we aren’t doing nothing. And without knowing or acknowledging it, usually. It’s tyranny…(ie a prison).
If that’s not enough backpressure for enjoying and appreciating, I don’t know what is!
I’ll second this, a lot of tiredness can be from boredom, which is another way of saying “I don’t like being here,” wanting to escape. Tiredness can be a form of the ‘freeze’ instinct. This also means that tiredness can swoop in right when something interesting was just starting to happen
I’ve frequently noticed that I have a wellspring of energy because of this when I’m in a good mood that was unimaginable when I was depressed/dissociated
And then on the other hand, ‘I’ don’t like being tired. It’s only normal to be physically tired at the end of a long day, and as some others have pointed out that time of day can be laden with emotion because of it. Parents always point to ‘bedtime’ when their toddlers start to wig out at the end of the day, and we’re not so different.
But that doesn’t have to be so. You can just be tired. Maybe doze, or take a nap (one of my favorite moves lately has been like a 2 hour nap after work, then wake up and do more things before sleeping the night), or just recognize that you’re tired and do this or that anyway
It seems to me we too easily resent ourselves for thinking about this or that subject. Or just thinking in general. Surely there has to be attitude available that both enjoys thinking and appreciates it without turning into a dissociative mindfulness where we observe our thoughts.
I think what we resent about our minds/thoughts is the obsessive nature of it. It would be perfectly fine if we thought about Uni prep to it’s logical conclusion and then let our minds drift back into wonder and delight. But we, instead, push our minds to further think and analyze. And that gets uncomfortable.
This obsession may be the result of feeling the need to energize ourselves into action. If we don’t take action and consistent systematic action at that then we risk quite a lot. Not only are there people who want to hurt us both now and in the future. There are masses of people who don’t care if we live or die. On top of that, we know we’ll feel guilty, embarrassed, or even just less confident if we allow ourselves to be victimized whether it be trivial or significant. Or even just fall well below the station of our peers.
To be completely autonomous would solve that issue of obsession. It would take away the need to whip ourselves into action. And the obsession would vanish. And wonder and delight could enter in an ad hoc manner. But autonomy is quite a brave step. I wouldn’t fault anyone for not risking it. It seems to me your are basically risking falling below the poverty line, which is particularly dangerous here in the US and in any 3rd world countries. And for a man it’s a recipe to never have your choice of female companionship. Women would probably be scared of what their peers and family members might think. Then there’s kids both having them and wanting them, opportunities for them, bigger house to better house them, etc. But surely there are steps one can take towards autonomy where one can try it out for size.
yes I
like to do nothing and it provides a bed from which happiness and appreciation can arise. in years gone by Richard often mentioned the rarity in people of the nothing moment.
Mickc
Anyone doing this? Nothing that is! I’ve been doing this the last 10 days or so whenever I can. It helps to clearly sus out ‘being’ while also being sensuous to the physical environment. The latter occurs when ‘being’ is no longer seen as particularly compelling. Other times ‘being’ morphs into boredom, lust, anxiety and all the the other surface level emotions. Hard not to act on them. But if I do then all my practice is wasted so I try. It seems very useful to see the surface emotions as being either bullshit or unnecessary and ‘being’ as being also unnecessary. And this realization only comes after staying with ‘being’ long enough to get tired of it and become more interested in sensuousness. For some reason, I find myself less interested in pure intent than the other sensate phenomena. Not sure why that is. But I still do sense it if I notice I am not sensing it like I would expect. Then I can put my mind to it and sense it. Sometimes I wonder if this is not the best way to get to the doorstep of self-immolation. And other times, I wonder if I’m fooling myself.
They don’t lead to anything interesting. The interesting thing comes after the surface emotions fade away.
As it turns out, I was just letting myself get too easily pulled to my various go-to idle activities. Stillness is coming after the surface emotions fade away. But it’s so awe inspiring that those idle activities have to take a back seat. I think my commitment not to run to a habitual activity, or perhaps a slight lessening of the addictions, is allowing me to accept the pause that the experience of stillness brings. Before I wasn’t going to let stillness get in the way of my bottle, blanket or pacifier. Today my addiction isn’t as strong.
I wonder if I’m fooling myself.
The fear comes from never self-immolating and being a great procrastinator. I can procrastinate for years. So doing nothing well enough that stillness, sensuousness of my physical surroundings, pure intent and apperception can be experienced may just be another form of procrastination. Or so is the fear.
