So the way I experienced it this morning :
‘I’ go into abeyance → I notice the sensation of the air gently caressing the skin, this is experienced directly via the senses as opposed to ‘me’ feeling something on ‘my’ skin → I notice that an intrinsic flavour/quality of this sensate experience (of the air caressing the skin) is actual perfection.
So it seems to me that actual perfection is ‘out there’ and it is ‘picked up’ by the senses.
This actually seems like a very important thing because it means that perfection is not in any way a product of the mind or heart, in fact it is not a ‘product’ of anything (this would make it contingent), it is actually ‘out there’, undeniably and actually.
It seems that in the same way I can sense the quality of a material as being rough for example, I can equally sense that what is being experienced is perfect - as in complete, without compare, matchless.
And it seems this is related to purity also. As in everything that is experienced sensately is perfect and pure, like Richard writes it is being naught but what it is.
Things being without compare are intrinsically pure and perfect - this seems the fundamental quality of the universe.
2 Likes
Also @claudiu what I am wondering is… in what way could I really segregate existential experiencing from pure sensate experiencing? Are we not proposing some separate ‘in and of itself’ thing that could be doing this existential experiencing?
Is not the existential experiencing of a flesh and blood body a sensate only condition? It seems that is precisely where separation ends - I am the senses.
I know that apperception comes in here however it seems apperception is not a ‘thing’ in that regard but rather a word describing an activity of the brain which nevertheless happens in the realm of sensate experience only, it ‘casts no shadow’.
I’m referring to my very intense PCE where I apperceived infinitude for the first time. The experience of actual infinitude wasn’t a touch, sight, sound, smell, taste, proprioception, etc… I wouldn’t say it was non-sensate per se cause that makes it indeed sound like something separate, which it wasn’t. It was of this (only existing) existence not some other one. So I would call it an existential sense - which is how I also describe how pure intent is experienced (existentially).
1 Like
Yes I know exactly what you are referring to, it’s like this additional layer that is experienced, that magical, never ending wonder, ultimate safety WTF layer 
That definitely wasn’t experienced this morning, I have memories of experiencing this and I don’t quite understand through which apparatus it is experienced haha.
1 Like
But! It does seem that this experience arises from the sure (100%) knowledge/experience that there is no place else but here, how else could I know this if not via the senses.
1 Like
Yea it’s not like a metaphysical infinitude that I can “go into” and “leave this world behind”. The infinitude is of this very existence. Existence cannot be escaped from - and why would one want to anyway??
The thing I find fascinating here is related to this thread actually - The bit from Richards journal that @Andrew shared.
When experiencing infinitude I know for a fact there is nowhere else, which means it is a %100 certainty that there is nowhere else for a ‘me’ to go to after death.
Weirdly enough this knowledge creates a complete security, no more fear of death.
So indeed it seems that what ‘I’ actually fear is being ‘me’ for eternity. With the knowledge that death is oblivion there is no longer a problem with the facticity of death.
1 Like
Yea it’s like not even an “enjoy it until you die” situation since that implies dying is bad and we make the best of it until inevitable doom. It’s more like … there just never is a problem in the first place haha. Everything is already perfect
2 Likes
It’s been interesting as I got bad news recently that one of my dogs is terminally ill. I’ve been observing the dog and she doesn’t know anything is wrong. She is not really in much pain yet just having some breathing troubles. But she doesn’t know she is sick per se, she doesn’t know she will die , she never knew she was going to die and she never will know. And there’s no “problem” for her because of it. She just lives her life until she doesn’t.
Any why should the addition of intelligence into an animal in such a situation result in an inescapable fear of mortality and an unrelenting doom?! It makes no sense that it would. And it doesn’t ultimately! One just has to see that there isn’t really anything ‘wrong’ with the picture. Of course the preference is to continue living and enjoying but … it is not up to us ultimately , the universe “decides”. And who can say the universe is wrong? Haha.
1 Like
My dog died in 2021. Up until then I had been on an “AF streak” But that hit me hard. For months I couldn’t even think about the method let alone use it. I still remember her gently licking my hand in the waiting area at the vet. I get a sweet sick feeling from it even now.
The inevitability of these things gives me a sense of urgency about freedom. If it doesn’t happen sooner rather than later, life will eventually sweep me away into a whirlpool of endless despair.
2 Likes
I’ve always thought that generally living and dying as and in the “non-human animal condition” is likely better than living n dying as and in the Human Condition…regardless of the physical comfort n safety we come up with…but then only humans have the Intelligence to end being
I mean non human animals live naked all life without even knowing about it…we gotta do better
1 Like