Vineeto: The next quote is also quite revealing in that as long as you believe in the truth of what is considered right and what is wrong, you will potentially react with righteous anger when coming across injustice, unfairness, or ‘this is just wrong’ and the likes – and there is plenty of it in the world as it is with people as they are.
Alexander: So to find certain things intellectually unacceptable there has to be a judgement and categorizing of behaviors correct? As in “this is wrong” but that intellectual understanding need not trigger an emotional response with the knowledge that outrage and self righteousness are part of the problem?
Hi Alexander,
Of course “there has to be a judgement and categorizing of behaviors” and of the accompanying feelings and passions, else why would you want to become free from malice and sorrow?
Vineeto: Oh, but the instinctual self is programmed and bent on survival at all cost – it’s called the survival instinct.
Alexander: I should have said the instinctual self doesn’t want to be here with people as they are and things as they are. Hence all the resentment.
Do you mean to say that you resent “to be here with people as they are and things as they are”? If so, why defer to a general instinctual self and thus keep the problem at arm’s length?
Once you sincerely acknowledge that you resent being here “with people as they are and things as they are” you can decide to do something practical about this resentment, for instance as described in the following selection (link). You can also check out past correspondence from this forum on this topic (link).
Vineeto: Mmh, who is the one who wants “to give ‘myself’” and who is “‘he’” who wants “oblivion”? And who is “the instinctual self”, which “just doesn’t want to be here at all”?
Alexander: I think I see what you are saying. I mean to say it is the intelligent thing to do to drop the whole thing. To stop ‘being’. Stop being both the “good” and “bad” feelings. Because I know that “I” will always revert to feeling bad and causing pain for myself and others. Now that I think about it I suppose being happy and harmless while remaining a self requires that self to agree to being here.
So now you determined that “it is the intelligent thing to” “stop ‘being’”, and that “remaining a self requires that self to agree to being here”, what are you doing about it in a practical way?
Alexander: But also to agree to let a PCE happen which is initiating the end of “me”. It gets a little fuzzy in my mind Vineeto. Is it a paradox or am I just missing something?
I suggest to read what is on offer on the Actual Freedom Trust website more carefully, for instance the go-to page for the actualism method including the very informative and explanatory tool-tips (link). You are certainly “missing something” about how a virtual freedom and an actual freedom can be achieved by those who sincerely want to.
The end of ‘me’ is not initiated by a PCE. To remember or experience a PCE gives you the necessary experientially information what a moment of perfection is. Then you can start putting the actualism method into practice as described.
Vineeto: Now that you sorted all your different impulses and wishes into separate boxes, are you any closer to solving the problem of feeling bad?
Alexander: Well I don’t think I’ve actually sorted them all but I understand why that won’t work.
Ok.
Vineeto: What happened last night? And why are you “trying to not try to let it happen again”?
Alexander: Yeah more weird unclear wording on my part. I mean I can see that pushing and using force is not the way. As for what happened, while laying in bed drifting off to sleep “I” disappeared briefly. For just a second or two. It has happened in the past as well while being on the edge of sleep. There is always a pulling back immediately and I wake up fully.
It sounds to me that what you call ‘you’ “disappeared briefly” was not a PCE but a brief falling asleep, particularly as you have no further description/ information to that experience. It can also be experienced as a moment of oblivion which often happens a second or so before going unconscious.
Here is some correspondence to a Frequent Question regarding how to induce a PCE (link).
Cheers Vineeto